Secrets of Southern Girls by Haley Harrigan

Author:Haley Harrigan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2017-04-06T04:00:00+00:00

41

REBA’S DIARY, 1997

I’d been counting down the days until my birthday. Seventeen seemed magical and elusive; ever since Jules turned seventeen at the beginning of summer, I could hardly wait to do the same. Not to mention that everyone else in my grade had already turned seventeen. Some of my classmates were on the verge of eighteen. It was a happy miracle that I’d made it into this class at all, that I wasn’t a junior right now, instead of a senior.

This morning (or yesterday morning, since I’m writing this so late), I was pleasantly surprised to see Jules waiting for me outside with a chocolate cupcake smeared with frosting and covered in sprinkles, with candles in the shape of the number 17 smashed into the top. It’s a tradition, a thing that we do every year. Since we were kids, we’ve been baking birthday cupcakes for each other. Before Ted left and Molly turned so bitter, she’d even get in the kitchen and help Jules make cupcakes for me when it was my birthday. These days, though, Jules makes them alone. The treat was delicious, and the gesture, though familiar, was even sweeter. Jules is still my best friend and I can’t hold a grudge against her, even if I know enough now to keep my secrets close.

Also, I hardly see Jules anymore, so even if I had decided to hold a grudge, there is a possibility that she wouldn’t have noticed. Not even Southern Saddle is enough to tempt her away from play practice these days, and I’ve been busy myself, working afternoons at Nell’s.

Jules and I walked to school, through the fields, and I gingerly nibbled the cupcake, trying my best not to cover my entire face in frosting. Jules (always the performer) sang “Happy Birthday” to me in front of everyone in English class, and for once, I turned a shade of red that had more to do with happiness than embarrassment.

All of this attention from Jules made me feel guilty that I couldn’t tell her what I had planned, but I wasn’t changing my mind. Jules wouldn’t know, wouldn’t even guess, even though she sits in the desk right beside me and it was all right in front of her face, if only she was looking closer.

August didn’t speak to me, has never dared to speak to me in class once he realized that it just isn’t done. I’ve never thought of it before, but apparently, things aren’t like this everywhere.

I had tried not to think of him. Really, I had. I even tried to rekindle some small feeling for Brandon Lomax, who is also in our English class. But those feelings seem very far away, a little-girl crush. And this, this feeling for August—this feels like much more.

I sat up straight, one hand in the pocket of my pink cardigan, where a folded piece of paper was lodged. I’d written it at midnight, when I decided to follow my heart this once and see where it leads.

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